Thank You & You're Welcome
For those of you that don't know, I work at a movie theater. I am a secretary and I work at guest services also. I see lots of people everyday. Some are regulars that come every week or even multiply times a week. They range from kids (home schooled) to seniors. I answer questions, help return and swap tickets, answer phones and help if there is a problem. I was talking to another employee about people saying thank you. Most people don't say it. Whether they are in a rush to get to their movie, or feel that since I am a paid employee that I don't deserve thanks, I'm not really sure why. Unless it is a senior citizen. 95% of the time they say thank you.
I was raised to say thank you and I raised my kids to say thank you. I even have a look that I give them when they may need to be reminded. If I need a rain check from the customer desk at the super market, I say thank you. When I get my oil changed, I say thank you. When I go to the dentist, I say thank you. I don't even have to think about it. I am OK with thanks also. It is quick and easy to say. All of my kids could say it by 2 years old.
I try to always say you're welcome too. That was how I was raised. If someone said thank you, you say you're welcome. Simple. But it's not that way anymore. If I say thank you to most people today, I usually get no problem or silence. When did that happen? What happened to you're welcome? I really don't like it. Maybe it is where I live, NY. I just don't like it. I'm not my grandmother. I'm only 44. I don't think I am a grumpy old lady. I still like kids and people. So I am asking others? Do you say thank you to people that are not your family and friends? When someone says thank you to you, how do you answer?
Also , do you write thank you cards anymore? That was how I was raised. I really hated writing them. So I always had my kids call the person to thank them. If it is a graduation,wedding or baby shower, then yes I did do thank yous. Who ever came out with the thank you picture cards was a genius. With 3 kids it saved me so much time. But for a birthday check that comes in the mail, I have them call. I know my parents would rather talk to my kids then get a note. I feel it is more personal to call. They have to actually interact with the person. So, do you write thank yous or do you call?
Now I know this is a first world problem, but I am curious so I figured I would ask. I think a lot of it has to do with age and location so if you don't mind putting that info too I would appreciate it. If you are uncomfortable with that I understand. So inquisitive minds (mine) want to know? Do you say thank you and you're welcome?
Thank you in advance.
I was raised to say thank you and I raised my kids to say thank you. I even have a look that I give them when they may need to be reminded. If I need a rain check from the customer desk at the super market, I say thank you. When I get my oil changed, I say thank you. When I go to the dentist, I say thank you. I don't even have to think about it. I am OK with thanks also. It is quick and easy to say. All of my kids could say it by 2 years old.
I try to always say you're welcome too. That was how I was raised. If someone said thank you, you say you're welcome. Simple. But it's not that way anymore. If I say thank you to most people today, I usually get no problem or silence. When did that happen? What happened to you're welcome? I really don't like it. Maybe it is where I live, NY. I just don't like it. I'm not my grandmother. I'm only 44. I don't think I am a grumpy old lady. I still like kids and people. So I am asking others? Do you say thank you to people that are not your family and friends? When someone says thank you to you, how do you answer?
Also , do you write thank you cards anymore? That was how I was raised. I really hated writing them. So I always had my kids call the person to thank them. If it is a graduation,wedding or baby shower, then yes I did do thank yous. Who ever came out with the thank you picture cards was a genius. With 3 kids it saved me so much time. But for a birthday check that comes in the mail, I have them call. I know my parents would rather talk to my kids then get a note. I feel it is more personal to call. They have to actually interact with the person. So, do you write thank yous or do you call?
Now I know this is a first world problem, but I am curious so I figured I would ask. I think a lot of it has to do with age and location so if you don't mind putting that info too I would appreciate it. If you are uncomfortable with that I understand. So inquisitive minds (mine) want to know? Do you say thank you and you're welcome?
Thank you in advance.
Hi Mcoia and I live slightly inland on the east coast of Australia in Queensland and in a small country town with most of our population being middle aged to elderly farmers with a mix of young families thrown in the mix. I am around a decade older than yourself :) so not what I would consider older either.
ReplyDeleteI was also brought up to say please and thank you and call adults when I was a child Mr and Mrs whoever unless they said otherwise and was brought up mainly by the grandmother who was a child of the Great Depression era. I was a surprise child (as they thought they couldn't have any) to my parents who were about the same age as yourself when I was born and mainly a latch key child as both my parents worked full time while I was school aged, with my grandmother living a few blocks away where I spent most of my afternoons.
Noticing the dynamic around here most of the population of 30 years and under including children don't say thank you or I have never heard it. The farming population I noticed have far better manners with always saying thank you and helping the wider community here greatly if they see anyone needs help.
Some of the for instances is if I get good service I say thank you and say thank you regardless to anyone in the service industry, if others say "thank you" to me for something I have done I reply "you are most welcome".
It may be a generational thing and what you and I were brought up with by our parents and in my case grandmother. I also taught my children to say please and thank you and call people Mr and Mrs unless they were requested to call people by their first name too.
Sadly I see a lot of manners either not being taught by parents to their children or children not taking it on board and implementing it. I know there are a lot of parents who do teach their children these things too.
Personally I think that we should all say please and thank you and most welcome to all and it doesn't matter whether that is a paid employee or not. Sadly there are a lot of manners that have flown out the door over the years and I think it brightens up the day for all that hear lovely manners. I recently mentioned to a mother while shopping as her son had accidentally bumped into me and was so polite what lovely manners her son had :) .
Thank you for a wonderful blog post and a subject dear to my heart.
Sewingcreations15 (Lorna)
You are welcome. Thank you for your lovely reply. You are correct about please too. I do not hear it said as much as it should be. To me it is basic manners. Treat others as you would like to be treated. I guess I will just have to be happy knowing that I taught my kids manners and they will teach theirs and so on.
DeleteI am a please, thank you, you're welcome, pardon me type of gal. But I was raised in the deep south and still call my mother's friends Mr or Mrs whatever. My kids were taught the same and still do it too.
ReplyDeleteI was raised to call everyone Mr and Mrs too. As were my kids. My OD daughter still calls our good friend Ms Bonnie. She was her girl scout leader 18 years ago. She has told her a number of times to just call her Bonnie, but the habit sticks. I still put Mr &Mrs. when I address envelopes.
DeleteIt's interesting that you wrote this today, as I've recently noticed that I have lost the habit of saying "you're welcome". I don't know why or how, but I started saying other phrases like "no problem" or "it's my pleasure". I want to get back in the habit of saying you're welcome. I feel like I have to remind my kids to say "thank you" every single time, but they are still young, and hopefully it will become a habit for them eventually. I also remind my kids' friends to thank me when I take them somewhere, haha! I figure that I am doing them a favor by teaching them this (and I would want another parent to remind my kids in this situation, too).
ReplyDeleteThat is what I hear all the time, no problem. At least you respond and are polite. Most times when I say thank you, I just get a look. You are doing great teaching your kids and their friends manners. I did the same with my kid's friends and nieces and nephews. I have to tell the teens and twenty somethings to say thank you at work all the time. They all call me their work mom.
DeletePeople always mention hiw polite my children are. I raised them to always be polite by modeling it myself. Being kind and polite goes a long way in many situations.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct. Doing it myself models how to do it for my kids. That is also why my kids are thrifty.
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