Luck has nothing to do with it.

I apologize in advance. I am going to vent a little so if you don't want to read this I totally understand.  Feel free to come back another day. 

I was at work and a newish (is that a word) coworker who is older then me started talking to me. I don't really know her but it was a slow time at work so we started talking. She preceded to ask me what my other job was. I said I don't have another job outside of my home. Just this one. She then asked did I work there full time? I explained that only management was full time (thank you Obama). She then went on and on about how LUCKY I am that I only have to work part time and what does my husband do and make. First off, I barely know you so there is no way I am telling you what my husband makes. 2nd thing, LUCK has nothing to do with it. It is called hard work.

 I have been told many times over the years how lucky I am. And they are correct. I am very lucky for many reasons but not the reasons they are saying. I am lucky that I met my husband. I am lucky that I have 3 healthy kids. I was lucky the time I found a hundred dollar bill. I was lucky when I played the nickel slots and won $500. There are other reasons too but you get the picture. 

Here are a few of the things I have heard over the years:

You are so lucky that you only work part time. I work part time at a payable job. I work full time and then some in my home and for my family. We do not have a maid. We do not have a chauffeur. We don't have a cook, dog groomer, gardener, laundry service, or any of the other things I do every day. What do people think I do the rest of the time? Sit on the couch and eat Bon Bons. NOPE! I'm cooking, cleaning, growing my garden, running errands, shopping sales to cut other expenses, canning food to lower our food budget, taking dogs and kids to doctors appointments and so much more. 

You are so lucky that you get to be a stay at home mom.  That was a choice that my husband and I made so that I could be a mom, wife and homemaker. I never wanted my kids in daycare. There is nothing wrong with daycare but it was something that I never wanted to do.  I could have gotten a full time job and brought in some good money. But we chose not to. When OD was born, I was lucky because my mom was willing to watch her part time for free. So I worked part time outside of my home. When she was turning 3 I was offered a babysitting job and I could bring her with me. It was 7 am to 7 pm, 5 days a week. I also cleaned houses with her on the side. When my son came around, the little boy that I watched was starting school so they didn't need me anymore. I got a job that I could do on the weekend when Hubby would be around. My parents had moved out of state by then. When we moved out East, that ended. So I started watching a friend's newborn daughter at my house. It worked for both of us. I went back to work part time when YD started school.

Your son is so lucky that he doesn't have to take out student loans. This was all hard work. Unfortunately we weren't as smart when our OD started college and she did. My son is paying 25% of his schooling. He works and saves his money. Hubby and I pay the rest. We have chosen to give up lavish vacations so that our kids will not be burdened with student loans the rest of their lives. 

You are so lucky that OD got scholarship money. Nope! Scholarship money doesn't just appear out of thin air. She had to work hard in school, be well rounded and then spend hours applying for a ton of scholarships. She deserved every penny that she got. YD is currently doing the same thing.

You are so lucky that you don't have a car payment. I actually hear this one a lot and I usually don't hold back when I do. I drive a 2006 Toyota Sienna that has about 150,000 miles on it. We bought it used. I love my car. She has been great to me. I could blow my emergency fund and go buy a new car tomorrow if I want. But I don't. I could get approved for a loan or lease no problem. My credit score is over 800. But I don't want or need a new car. It is a choice, not luck!

You are so lucky your kids do chores. They do chores because that is how it is in this house. It is not a choice. America may be a democracy but my house is not. What Hubby and I say goes. End of conversation. They have been doing chores since they were little. They know nothing else. 

I believe in hard work. I believe in making good choices. I do not believe in luck. I am not going to hope I get lucky in retirement. I am not buying lotto tickets so that someday I can retire. Hubby and I are working together to make sure that we have a great retirement. Thanks for reading this far.  End of rant. 




Comments

  1. Luck favors the prepared mind.

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  2. One of my common rants as well. Yes, I am fortunate to have been able to stay home with my kids. However we made sacrifices to do so. I got so tired of hearing "You're so lucky you can stay home. I could never afford to do that." Well, in many cases yes, you could but you'd have to give up winter holidays in warm places, restaurants, etc. Either route is a valid choice, but it is just that--a choice. And those of us who are able to choose are lucky, regardless of which choice we make.

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    Replies
    1. I agree. My sister is a single mom. She had no choice.

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  3. I've always thought that in this life you make your own luck. Being wise with decisions, and taking advantage of opportunities that arise. Playing the lottery is definitely NOT a retirement plan. lolz

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    1. The other retirement plan I hear people say is that they will inherit their parent's money when they die. I would rather have my parents around and be retired then waiting for them to drop so that I can.

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  4. That must be a load off your mind:). Sometimes it helps to just let it out a bit. I'm glad your hard work is paying off for you. Sometimes people can work super hard, and it still doesn't work out for them due to many various reasons, so that's awesome. As for the nosy co-worker, wow! Those are super personal questions. I wouldn't want to answer them! I'm glad you didn't feel obligated to answer her.

    I think when I read your post, the first thing that comes to mind is that you are very blessed with your children, jobs, etc. and that you put in a lot of hard work to make many things happen for yourselves. I'm happy for you.

    Have a great week!

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    Replies
    1. I am very blessed. That is a much better word. I thank God everyday for my life.

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  5. Sing it, SIster! I hear so often that I was lucky to be able to choose to be home with my kids. You're right, luck had nothing to do with it. Having kids was a choice I made, and knowing I would probably choose to have kids, I made sure to make choices which enabled me to stay home with them. It may sound conniving, but I wouldn't have had kids without being married, and I wouldn't have married a man who didn't share this view. There were sacrifices--I loved my job--but I didn't love my job enough to keep it over having kids. Choice goes both ways! I truly dislike it when people have kids, but then complain they aren't lucky like me, and can't afford to stay home with them.

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    1. Thankfully Hubby and I have always been on the same page about our kids and how we wanted to raise them.

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  6. Hi Mcoia and everything you have accomplished is due to hard work, planning, commitment and the way you have brought up your children on both yours and your DH's behalves so well done on your lifestyle you deserve every bit of it.

    Nothing gets dropped in our laps or is easy at all. I have a saying which I use often and am not sure of the author which is "if it is to be it is up to me". We are all in control of our own destiny.

    Sewingcreations15 (Lorna)

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    1. That is very true. Hubby worked 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs so that we didn't have to put OD in daycare and I only had to work part time. We barely saw each other.

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  7. Yea you for speaking up and clearing your heart and mind of this junk! Luck has nothing to do with it. Great choices. Frugal lifestyle. Doing without to get the results you wanted. You've got some for lucky children...the way you raised them! They have learned great habits, great foundations for all the life decisions they have in front of them. I was raised the way you raised your children. As a 57yo adult, I am grateful and will never forget. Your children, too will always appreciate what they learned at home. Hugs to you!

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    Replies
    1. I would like my kids even if they weren't mine. The are wonderful.

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