Do you eat together as a family?

Tonight I ate dinner alone and I did not like it. My kids were at work and Hubby is working late. Dinner was ready and I ate it. I did eat in the dining room where we always eat but it was weird eating buy myself. 

I am #4 out of 5 kids. My dad worked 9-5 and we always ate dinner together unless he was traveling for work. We always sat at the dining room table (our kitchen was tiny) and we talked about our day. It was loud but entertaining. I remember when my oldest sister got a job. My mom would sit with her when she ate dinner if she wasn't at home when the rest of us ate. I remember her doing it with me when I got a job. We always ate with someone. 

We are big breakfast people. We always make a big breakfast on the weekends. We do waffles, pancakes with fruit compote, french toast with fresh strawberries, biscuits with sausage gravy, or omelettes with hashbrowns. Don't forget a side of bacon with that. We eat together as a family. Breakfast is at 9am so that is when they get up unless it is a special circumstance. They both usually don't work that early so nowadays it is 2 meals that I can count on all of us eating together. I really love it. We get to talk, laugh and discuss our lives.

Dinner when they were young was easier. I would serve dinner when we were all together. Maybe Hubby wasn't around every night because we had to be at ball practice or gymnastics. But the rest of us ate together. I always sit with Hubby whenever he gets home. Now a days it is harder and harder. My son is busy with college and work. YD is busy with school, extra curricular activities and work. It seems we are eating dinner together less and less. I really don't like it. I do try to sit with them when they eat. Sometimes I'm sure they would like for me to leave them alone. But they are stuck with me. 

I know a lot of people don't eat together as a family. My kid's friends over the years have always said that most of them eat dinner watching TV in the living room or while they are on the computer in their room. Not in my house. You only eat in your room if you are sick in bed.  

My oldest is already grown and out of the house. My son will be turning 20 soon. YD is looking to go away to college this coming fall. Family dinners are on a final countdown. I do not look forward to only have family meals on holidays. So I am going to cram as many meals together as I can before they both move out. 

Where do you eat dinner? Do you eat breakfast together? Do you have a dining room and use it? Did you eat dinner together growing up? 

Comments

  1. Thinking back to when we were little kids, we ate dinner in the breakfast room. Most of the time it was just my sister and me because Dad came in late and Mom waited and ate with him, though she sat at the table and had a cup of coffee while we ate. By the time we were teens Dad's schedule changed and we ate as a family, different house but still in the breakfast room. When my kids were young we at in the breakfast room as a family, and TheHub and I still eat together in the breakfast room. Funny, every house I have lived in had formal dining rooms but we only had special meals there. Now when everyone is home we eat all meals in the dining room because we have to seat 10 and the breakfast table just will not work.

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    1. The house I grew up in had a small kitchen so we always ate in the dining room. Our house now has a large kitchen. We only made a dining room 2 years ago after OD moved out. So we always eat in the dining room now. Sometimes the kids eat breakfast or lunch at the island in the kitchen but only 2 people fit there.

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  2. We did when my kids were home and when my dh worked depending on what time he got home, we would wait to eat together. Now just the two of us and we eat dinner together but my dh still gets up eat and eats breakfast early so I make things he can microwave and eat at his preferred time. We are talking 6-7 a.m.

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    1. YD leaves for school at 6:20 so I sit with her while she eats. We only eat breakfast on the weekends together.

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  3. When I was young, we always had meals at the kitchen table and rarely used our dining room, except for entertaining. Everyone sat down at the table for dinner and we had to use proper manners and ask to be excused from the table when we were done, etc. My grandparents in their home, would use the kitchen table for breakfast and lunch and the dining room table for dinner nightly, that is how I do it today, sometimes having lunch in the dining room also. Some people do not use the table at all, instead its wherever they find themselves, I don't care for that. I do not enjoy eating alone, so usually have a book or something to read if by myself. I do serve up plates from the stove as its just me but, when I was young, we used servings dishes at the table nightly also and formerly set the table.

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    1. Glad to know I am not the only one who misses it. We don't have a kitchen table anymore. Only an island that seats 2 so we eat most meals in the dining room. There are no phones at the table and the kids help clean up after every meal. We take turns on washing dishes.

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  4. I have had a hard time dealing with this change in our lives, as well. When I was little, we always ate as a family, at the table. When I had many children at home, it was the same. Now that we have fewer people here than ever before, I find that less family meals are happening than ever before. I don't like it either. I find that when the kids get older, they want to eat when they want to eat, and what they want, and so forth. I think this is one area where the younger crew (out of my 8) have gotten the short end of the stick! But, I also understand that life changes, and as my youngest gets older and older, I am going to have to adjust to the fact that this house is going to get quieter and quieter.

    After over 30 years of raising children, non-stop, I've thought deeply about how I'm going to handle the change. I've decided that I can always borrow children if it gets too quiet:). I've had no problem rounding up mothers who want a break, in the past, and I'm sure it will hold true as my house continues to empty. My niece and nephew will continue to need attention from me, and there are always multitudes of children at church that I could help with in some capacity. And, who knows? Maybe I'll have some time to do some of the things I've put off for so long, such as quilting, more gardening (as in clean out the flowerbeds before the weeds are 5 feet tall, like happened last year), and so on. I've got some time to ease into all these changes--but I'm already making a plan!

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    1. There are also grandchildren hopefully some day. I can't wait for that. NO rush to OD though. There are always little ones to borrow. I watched my cousin's son (3) yesterday for a few hours while she went to the doctor. I don't know who had more fun, me or him. He is the youngest of 3 so loves the alone time. Kids grow up way to fast.

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  5. When I was a kid, my mother followed my father's preferred method of dining. (He was European.) She served dinner to us kids (all half dozen of us) at 5 p.m., in the den. She then later cooked another meal for my father and herself, serving it around 7:30-8:00. It was actually convenient, as we kids were very hungry by 5, and ready for bed in the younger years by 7:30. When we were older, we were headed off to other things, like practice, dance class, study sessions in the early evening. My father, though, wasn't ready for dinner until much later. There was no way we could wait that long, and as we got older, that time was when our extracurriculars were scheduled. So, my parents ate alone together. Under no condition, though, were we to disturb their dinner. Growing up, family dinners were reserved for holidays, until we were much older--college/married. Then they were a 3 hour bacchanalian delight at the dinnertable, with protocol you did not break, such as who my father served in what order (Guests/fiancé female first, daughters-in law, daughters, sons-in-law, sons, mother, father) My mother honed our table manners during those den dinners growing up, and we were expected to put them into practice in the dining room. My father believed that eating dinner in the dining with the grownups was a privilege for a child. It became an absolute joy when we were older.

    In my house, I do things differently. I like a family dinner in the dining room, but now that my kids are older, (youngest is 13)it is hard to orchestrate during the week. When I do serve a weekday dinner at the dining room table, a kid with a bona fide excuse for missing it gets a plate set aside. A kid who is, say, at the movies with a friend, doesn't get that same courtesy. Currently, though, there are many nights, (far too many, it seems) when I will fix dinner, set it out on the counter, in a "come and get it as you are able" manner. On those nights, some kids will sit together in the kitchen, others will take their plate to the dining room to eat alone.

    Lately, the only guaranteed time we have to eat in the dining room as a family is our Sunday lunch, which, I think, they actually look forward to. That said, eating at the dining room table with the parents is every bit as much a privilege in my house as it was when I was growing up, and I expect proper manners. There were very dire consequences for rudeness when they were younger, especially whining, and especially whining about the meal.

    Personally, I find eating anywhere other than at the dining room or kitchen table (or counter) vulgar, and don't allow it in my home. Oddly enough, I also enjoy eating alone every bit as much as eating with my family.


    Food and dining is important to me. So much of what our family does revolves around the kitchen/dining room. In fact, eldest DS recently said "You know, you can tell a lot about a person by how they eat, and I don't mean just what foods." When I asked what he could tell about me, he said "You can tell you really enjoy it, and it's important to you. " I once asked him if he wanted to invite a friend to dinner sometime, and he said "I don't know anybody I want to share this with yet." I can say that my family generally enjoys the chance we have to dine together. I wish we could do it more often, but I would rather have them coming willingly, than being forced to endure and rush through a meal out of obligation.

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    1. That is very interesting the way you ate when you were younger. I think my kids like to eat with us. They never complain about eating together as a family. Manners are a must at our house too.

      I remember as a kid having to eat at the kids table on holidays. I felt so special when I made it to the adult table. We never had that in my house.We just add extra tables onto the dining room table. Everyone eats together always for holidays. Now who sits next to who, that gets complicated.

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